Behind this Golden Sun
by emoprincess37
Summary: *Thor 2 Spoilers* Because of lines that Loki has in his 3 films about preparing Thor to lose Jane to death, I felt that he probably in the MCU has already met, married and lost Sigyn. This is their story, of how they met, married, fell in love, and lost. Takes place before Thor and will include spoilers for all three films.
1. Chapter 1

I grow weary. I grow weary of people not knowing _me. _No one really understands me, not anymore. _She _did. She was the only one. Even now that I have the throne I am not known, and I am not pleased.

Thor thinks me dead, Odin is hidden away, my mother died weeks ago leaving a sadness in her wake. The woman who would have been my queen died long ago yet, I still find myself missing her presence. An oddity for me I must assure you.

I believe that Thor and his friends, even Odin himself, did not understand the extent to which I felt for her. I loved her, and she was taken too soon. I was not ready for her passing. If I am honest with myself that is why I always told Thor to prepare himself for his mortal lover's eventual but guaranteed death. I know what it feels like to lose someone before you are ready.

I almost died on Svartalfheim for her, the human. It would have been a good death. Dying to protect my brother, his love, and maybe finally getting some peace. Instead I had been saved, and saved Thor in return. He thought I died, but I made it safely off Svartalfheim and returned to Asgard to quietly usurp the throne from Odin, whose guise I now wear.

And yet, I feel that there are parts of my story left untold, so here is some of it. A mere fragment, a taste, but important nonetheless. To understand me, it is crucial to remember that I loved and I lost. I fell into madness and chaos. And I was never quite redeemed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

"Sif!" Loki called, chasing after the young girl.

The goddess turned her head, her golden locks falling softly behind her shoulder.

"What is it your highness?" She asked politely, if not a bit hurriedly.

It was no secret that the young prince favored her, a fact which Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun were always teasing her for. She could already hear their teases in her mind and she wished to Valhalla that Loki would just _go away. _

"Lady Sif," Loki huffed out of breath. "I made this for you, though it in no way compares to your beauty."

He held out a flower; the stem was like any other plant but the petals were made of a swirling gray mist with twinkling lights embedded inside.

"Oh that's lovely, thank you." She said kindly, taking the gift. "Your highness is too sweet."

She curtsied to the boy, who was still slightly shorter than she. Loki blushed, pleased that she liked her gift. His mother had taught him the trick the day before and he had stayed up all night practicing making the perfect flower before one had satisfied him.

Every moment that she stayed in his presence, new taunts from her friends entered Sif's mind. "If you'll excuse me, I'm late to my archery lesson."

"Of course, you are dismissed." Loki said, trying for the demeanor of a Prince of Asgard. He thought it came out sounding like a boy trying too hard.

Sif curtsied again and ran off in the direction of her lesson. Loki, excited he had finally worked up the nerve to talk to her, ran off excitedly to find Frigga and tell her exactly what had happened.

~O~

That night after his magic lesson, Loki was walking the halls to his room, practicing that night's lesson as he roamed. After telling his mother everything and being annoyed by his bemused smile, she had told him that he was ready to try something a bit more difficult. And then she had duplicated herself.

"It's called 'rabbiting' Loki, and it will be the focus of quite a few of our lessons." She had said.

That's what Loki liked about learning from his mother; they stayed on a topic until Loki had it mastered and could prove it. He was well on his way to becoming a fantastic wizard.

A green shimmer appeared in front of him and he smiled excitedly when he saw he had duplicated his left foot. He chased after it quite eagerly. After a few minutes of trying to catch his foot, Loki's nose wrinkled. He could smell something burning. He followed it to a darkened corner where, all by its lonesome, he spied the burnt husk of the flower he had given Sif.

Loki stared at the flower before turning away and going to his room, his heart hardening a bit. When Frigga next asked him about Sif he told her that it had been a passing fancy.

He continued to watch from afar, wondering how anyone could be so cruel. Every time he saw the young Sif flip her golden hair and bat her eyelashes at his brother Thor he became enraged. What made Thor Odinson better than him? They were brothers, both Odinsons of the same lineage.

Somehow as he grew older, his disdain for her in his heart, he found that he hated her hair most of all. The golden threads that she was so fond of. It did not suit her, he decided, to be vain. But Loki hid his contempt well. Because he was Brother to Thor, Loki was in the inner circle. The Warriors Three were his friends by default and at Thor's behest he spent much of his waking time in their company.

While Thor and Lady Sif and the Warriors Three enjoyed their company on the training ground, Loki would read. He would sit on a bench and spend hours studying magic and history and ancient languages. All while his 'friends' bashed in each other's heads time and again.

Then one day Sif and he were alone. The others had come down with an illness, and so they two were alone on the training field. Sif had asked Loki to spar with her, so she might get practice. It was her plan to become a shield maiden of Asgard – the first.

"Why should I? What do I get if I win?"

Sif sighed. "You wish to make a wager?"

Loki smiled. "I do. If you win, what do you want?" He asked, a grin spreading his face.

Sif thought for a moment. "Your wandering eye and lecherous smile turned elsewhere. Cast all selfish thoughts of me aside."

Loki inclined his head, understanding what she was wagering. "And I want your hair."

"What?" Sif asked, not sure if she had heard correctly.

"You must shave your head and allow me to cast a spell that means your golden hair will never again grow, and the spell never to be removed. I have named my terms. Do you accept?"

Sif stiffened visibly but nodded. "I do."

"As do I. Now, shall we begin?"

Sif raised her shield as Loki threw a dagger at her heart. When she lowered her shield he was nowhere to be seen. Thought her outward appearance betrayed nothing, Sif was anxious. None of them had ever fought Loki before, or in fact seen him fight. He only ever studied books before their eyes.

From the corner of her eye she saw the edge of his black leather outfit and whirled her spear, bringing it down. He raised his arms, the spear hitting gold bracers. Loki pushed the spear off and quickly countered with an attack of his own. She raised her shield again and thrust her spear. Sif heard a grunt of pain and smiled, victorious, at the impaled Loki. Just as soon as she opened her mouth to brag about her win, he disappeared in a green shimmer; she felt an arm around her neck and a dagger at her back.

"I win Sif." She heard the foul voice in her ear.

She groaned but threw down her spear and shield in defeat.

"Thank you." Loki whispered.

He placed a hand on Sif's head and pulled the hair from her head in one deft, painless move.

"As promised Lady Sif, my prize."

Loki held the golden hair in his hand, staring at it for a short moment, before alighting it with his magical green fire. Sif held back a wash of tears as she saw her favorite thing being burned before her eyes. The ashes fell to the ground, both their eyes watching its descent into gray nothing.

"Now you know what it is like when something you are proud of burns."

Sif's eyes widened. "Is that what this is about? Something that happened years ago?"

Loki stood up straighter, made his tongue harsher. "I could have had you killed. Be glad I did not."

The lady stiffened. Loki's words were true. As a Prince he very easily could have asked for her life; he could even now. Or her hand. Sif bowed her head with as much dignity as she could muster.

"Thank you, Loki Odinson, for the valuable lesson."

"Dismissed." Loki said, with a wave of his hand.

Sif gathered her shield and spear and hurried from his presence. Loki watched as she left and sighed. He kicked the gray ashes of Sif's hair, still not feeling fulfilled.

"I suppose satisfactions not in my nature." He said to himself.

And it was true – he felt no satisfaction at having taken Sif's hair from her, not like he thought he would. He hung his head, gathered his book and dagger, and walked off. Loki was unaware that even now Sif was pleading to the All-Father, Frigga, and Thor.

~O~

"Loki, you have been called before the All-Father today for an opportunity to fix your transgression against the Lady Sif."

"What transgression is this, may I ask?" Loki asked, turning an accusing eye towards Sif.

Frigga looked pleadingly at her younger son. It was true that he played pranks and caused mischief but it was all in harmless fun. He never truly meant to hurt someone.

"You took Sif's hair without fully explaining the rules of your battle; furthermore, you did so to fuel a childhood revenge plot. That is not how any son of mine will behave."

"Father…" Loki began to plead.

"No!" Odin yelled, the one word ringing with finality.

As a last ditch, Loki looked to Thor. His brother scowled, standing protectively before Sif.

"Make it right Loki." Thor bellowed.

Loki bowed. "As the All-Father bowed." He sneered, turning to leave.

Odin sighed and looked at Frigga. As soon as Thor and Sif had left, he turned to face his wife.

"Do you still think it was a wise idea to bring him into our home?" Odin asked her.

"Of course; he is our son." Frigga insisted. "And he will make this right."

~O~

Loki had stalked off to his rooms to pack for the journey: a few magical implements, a fur-lined cloak to keep him warm, and some food from the kitchens to fill his pack. He only planned on being gone for a few days at the most.

The God of Mischief had decided that it would be best to pay the Dwarves of Ivaldi a visit. They were so fine at their craft that surely they could spin gold so fine it could become like hair.

Loki said goodbye to no one save his mother whom he kissed warmly on the cheek. He set off and reached the dwarves Ivaldi on Svartalfheim within half-a-day. He told them of the dilemma of Sif, and also that they would have the thanks and favor of the gods if they completed this task. While the dwarves did not trust Loki, they would love to be in good favor with the gods of Asgard.

So they set to work and by the end of the second day the pair had made two fantastic gifts for the gods: golden hair even finer than Sif's, and what they called Skidbaldnir – a boat that could be kept in your pocket, but when unfolded could carry many gods quite swiftly across the oceans of Asgard.

Loki thanked them for their craftsmanship and told the Ivaldi dwarves that he would tell the gods of their hard work. In Loki's mind, a plan was forming. Why not devise a way to get more gifts for the gods? Loki went to the caves of the Dwarf brothers Brokkr and Sindri, two fine craftsmen. He showed them the gifts that the Ivaldi's had crafted and dared them to do better. The brothers however, had no interest in making gifts for the gods.

"Well," Loki began, "if your gifts please the gods more than the brothers Ivaldi, I promise you my head."

Brokkr raised a brow and turned to his brother. Sindri nodded his head.

"We accept the terms of this wager, Trickster." Brokkr's growly voice said to him.

They shook hands and the Dwarves set to work. Loki saw their determination and frowned. Perhaps he had gotten in over his head. To distract them, he became a fly and bit their hands, eyes, and necks. Still the dwarves were able to make two beautiful creations – the golden Boar Gullinbursti and the duplicating ring Draupnir.

Brokkr accompanied Loki to the Court of Asgard to see how the All-Father judged. Loki gave the gifts to Sif and Frigga and Leyja, a child that often hung around his mother since hers had died.

Odin looked at each gift carefully and judged Brokkr and Sindrin's work to be superior.

"Hand over your head Odinson." Brokkr said, reaching for his axe.

Loki smiled, thinking quickly through his nerves. "It is true I promised my head, but I never said you could have my neck with it."

Brokkr frowned but Thor roared with laughter. "You heard the silver tongue. You get his head but not his neck."

Brokkr smiled maliciously and Loki's heart skipped a beat.

"Very well, I will settle for this." And the dwarf pulled from his pouch a needle and thread and leaped on the young prince. Loki tried to fight him off but the dwarf was stronger than he had thought.

"There, Prince of Lies." With those words the dwarf rose and bowed to Odin and Frigga, considering the bet won and his prize collected. He took his leave and everyone stared for a moment, wandering what had just happened.

The room burst into laughter with only Frigga and Thor sharing a tense look. Thor rushed to Loki's side and helped his brother to his feet. Loki's hand covered his mouth, blood rushing down his chin. As Thor checked over his brother, Sif's scream rang out in the great hall. The golden hair that had been re-attached to her head had turned black.

Loki rolled his eyes. It was the spell he had told her about – never again would her hair grow gold again. There was murder in her eyes. Without his tongue to defend himself, or to tell of the irreversible spell, Loki felt defenseless and truly afraid.

He averted his gaze from everyone in the room and ran from the hall. Blood still dripped from his chin as the lips that had been sewn shut bled. Tears sprang to his eyes as Loki locked himself in his room, his lips feeling as though they were on fire, and tearing themselves apart with his attempts to cry out in pain. 


End file.
